Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Visions of Burgers Danced in their Heads

It must be the heat. Folks are wandering around Dog Park like zombies, their arms flopped at their sides, their eyes dull, their mouths slackjawed and drooling. They say in strangled voices, "Burger. Must have burger." There's an element of desperation --or deprivation--about the resulting conversations, as if folks have forgotten that, unlike their dogs, they have car keys and wallets and can go purchase a hamburger and eat it undisturbed. They're like characters in a New Yorker cartoon, castaways stuck on a tiny island with one palm tree and a winning lottery ticket: "Oh, the cruelty of fate!" 

I participate in the burger conversations as a matter of course, although I have not eaten one in nearly fifteen years. (I prefer not to eat mammals. Anything that sports big brown eyes while alive just doesn't sit right on my plate. Now, some of you will insist that the rumors disseminated by the pork industry are true—that bacon comes from pigs. Don't be silly. Everyone knows it comes from the Yellow-chested Bacon Bird.) In any event, here are the suggestions made during a Thursday night DP gab-fest about the places in town with the best burgers, in no particular order: 
  • Huts, 
  • Phil's
  • Five Guys, 
  • P. Terry's, 
  • Counter Cafe (anointed by Texas Monthly as purveyor of the 2nd-best burger in Texas) 

Places that were roundly razzed by Parkers include Sonic and Hilberts. (Caveat: Folks agree that although the food sucks at Sonic, somehow it goes down all too easily with an icy cherry limeade.) 

If you beg to differ with this admittedly imperfect best-burger poll, you may post your opinions in a comment or in an e-mail to In the meantime, you all can ponder the best local beers as well, which was the topic of  berm-side conversation on Saturday night. Bon appetit!


  1. I hate Hut's. HATE it.

    Oh, and I think Roaring Fork's Big Ass Burger should be added to the list.

  2. mmm Cherry Limeade.

    I vote for a home-ground beef burger grilled outside. But it's too hot to grill...


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